Expressions of regret for his past disposition, news of his pay and his changing outlook punctuate this letter.
Napoleonville La.
May 3rd 1863
My dear Wife
this is sunday evening almost 9 o’clock but Capt. Jenkins is going to N. Orleans tomorrow and if I sent this letter tomorrow I must write it to night. I do not know that I have much of importance to write about but I presume that you will be something like myself glad to get a letter even if it does not contain much news.
My health continues about the same. I long to breathe in the cool fresh air of the north, some folks talk in raptures of the sunny south, I confess I cannot see it, the air here I think is a good deal as it is in Connecticut in dog days, hot and muggy.
I am in hopes that we shall stand it until we get ready to start for home, the probabilities now are that Co. B. will stay in this place until we start for home but nothing is certain in the soldiers life the taps have just been beaten to put out lights and we have got to finish our letters to night as the Capt. starts at V2 past 4 in the morning.
well my darling I think of you and home every day of how much I long to see you and the children and whether I shall have that pleasure before long and also whether I shall be improved in disposition or not. I am in hopes that if I come out alive I shall have more patience than I used to have, in some respects this has been a good school for me as I have had to practice paticnce, living in intimacy as I have done with so many I have found it best to just act my natural caracter with as much improvement as I could realize and I must confess that I think that I have got along as smoothly as I expected and I think I am treated with as much consideration as I deserve. I lose the principal benefits of the office I held by the Regiments being broken up to do guard duty. I donot think it is as pleasant for me as it would be if the Regt. was together.
well my darling I suppose you feel lonely and miss my presence a Husband is a protection even if he is a poor Husband which I hope I am not except in money and that puts me in mind that [wej were paid 2 months pay last week but I have not sent any home this time as I did not know whether we would be paid again until we got to New Haven or not again. I thought perhaps you did not need it immediately if you do I wish you would write me to that effect in your next and I will send it. my dear wife I trust that you will get along without any unusual trouble or danger until I come home, if you knew a suitable female that could board with you, I should have no objections of course perhaps you could get some one to come and sleep with you at night but you must use your own judgement in the matter. I feel my dear wife that you are left in an unprotected state but I have always thought that we were in the hands of the lord and we should run our course, my darling I have been well satisfied with you since I have been from home in your management of things as far as I know of them and I have never doubted your sincere desire to act for my best interests mine has been a curious nature my dear and I think that we have been as happy as most folks but not as happy probably as we might have been if I had a more even disposition but there is no such thing as perfection enough for me to know that in you I possess an honest wife and you I hope possess an honest husband, my dear I feel that my happiness consists in loving you and in receiving your love in return. my darling wife I cannot think how to express my feeling to you but I hope if we meet again to say much by word of mouth that I cannot put in a letter.
now my dear wife I must bid you good night and may my love continue to cheer you as yours does me. give my love to the children and believe me to be your devoted Husband
J.D. Bishop
