He relates negative prospects for the war and for the outcome at Fredericksburg (Chancellorsville?).
Napoleonville La.
May 28th 1863
Dear Wife
Last night the mail came bringing a couple of letters from you, and my dear wife they were truly welcome. I was very glad to have you write that I was necessary to your happiness. and I was also glad that your health was good also that the children were well, your description of the children at play in the Home put me in mind of old times when I used to see them playing around the Floor. I wish I could see the dear creatures again and I hope to before many months have passed. your letters my dear wife please me very much because they show me that you wish to please me very much and that I think will make me happy. do not be afraid dearest to trust to my generosity because I will try to be generous to you and love you. My dear wife it is a great pleasure to love you and to receive your love in return, it fills my heart with gladness when I think of you and that you are all my own donot think my dear wife that I write you a mere love letter as children write them when they know nothing of the trials and vexations of life but believe that I have a sincere desire to minister to your happiness but when I think how prone I am to lose patience at the least trifle that crosses me I mistrust myself, My dear wife you must help me to mould my disposition anew and I will give up to you and try to be led by you if God spares my life to rejoin you and may he give me strength to fulfill my promise to you. I used to think my darling that I should be supreme in all things with you and I am satisfied that I treated you ohen ungenerously and I am sorry for it now. You will forgive me will you not? Much love casteth out fear.
I sent you ten dollars in a letter dated May 22d. I think it was mailed yesterday and probably will leave N. Orleans today for N.Y. I do not kxiow when we shall be paid off again but I can get along without much money if I try and it will do me more good to have you made comfortable with the money than it would to use it myself
I am now sitting under a tree some ways from Camp so that I can be quiet and collect my thoughts, sometimes when I have written there has been so much noise and talking that I could hardly collect my thoughts so I thought that this morning I would try to get where it was quiet so that I could write undisturbed.
General Banks’ forces are now trying to take Port Hudson and we can hear the cannonading quite plain, it has been going on now for a day or two. I hope he will succeed in getting the river open to our vessels as I want to go home that way if possible. as it regards our staying in this place until we leave for home we cannot tell whether we shall or not, as you say we may be ordered into action and we may not be, whichever way it may prove I hope we may do our duty like men. I am sorry my dear that our army did not succeed better at Frederickshurgh than they did. Sometimes I think that it may not be the intention of Providence that we shall subdue them entirely, this state is not subdued yet as one of the Wagon Trains was attacked by Gurrillas as it was coming through the county that Bank’s army had just conquered.
Now my darling I would that I could impart to you the love that I feel for you by writing but you can if you feel the same love for me understand the longing for the companionship of each other that we both must feel. when you tell me my dear wife that my presence is necessary to your happiness you fill my soul with thankfulness and thank God for it, to be necessary for your happiness is what I earnestly desire my dear wife. I should hate to have to think that you did not miss me in many ways. not possessing many friends my darling I prize you the more
highly. I have written to you in another letter that we should have to stay until August 14th before we were discharged from service, the time will seem long my darling to be seperated from you but if you write often it will help me to bear the cross,
Now you must take good care of yourself and not work too hard and I hope that a kind Providence will let us enjoy each others society again until he sees fit to call one of us from this life, Kiss the children for me and keep good courage and believe me to be your loving Husband.
J.D.B.
