Bishop relates his longing to be home and alludes to disappointment in himself, as well as an inability to relate to his fellow soldier. A discussion of army life and its prospects.
Bayou Lafouch L.A.
March 11th 1863
Letter #2
My Dear Wife
I have written one sheet this morning to you but the envelope will just as well hold 2 sheets as one and I will try and fill it out
do not worry about my health it is just the same as I always was. one day feeling first rate and the next day depressed in spirits. I think I should make Military my business if my health would adjust to it. one principal objection to the business is the separation from ones family and that is a great one and then it wants a man to be a little deceitful to keep his end up and he does not want to be very sensitive to ridicule or scandal but I think it may be a necessary school for a sensitive person as it will learn him not to take notice of expressions that are predudicial (prejudicial] to him. as for my part I have suceeded in avoiding difficulty as well as I expected but still I have suffered some from close contact with contracted minds. I think most men mean well but they look on life with different views. A man needs to be somewhat ambitious to suceed in the army and not at all delicate about taking advantage of every opportunity for advancement. as it regards my position I considered it a triumph although there is no actual rank attached to it by the regulations and the extra pay depends upon the Officers. how much I shall realize of extra pay I cannot say but the major says that he will see that I have extra pay.
My dear Wife health is the great consideration whereever we may be and in whatever condition we may be placed in. my stomach causes me to suffer from nervousness and I donot know as I shall ever get over it. I donot think that my health is any worse then when I started but I think perhaps my nerves are generally stronger.
It gratifies me my dear wife to receive an affectionate letter from you and I value your love my dear wife very highly its price is above silver or gold. but I sometimes think that I am not worthy to receive your true love not because I think I have done anything to injure you in your esteem but that my natural characteristics are repugnant but they seem to be above my control. my dear wife my greatest happiness is in writing to you and receiving your letters in return my dear what an elysium there could be on earth if we could always live together in perfect harmony without a cross word between us do you think my dear that we shall be able to always control ourselves in the future so as not to get angry at one another. I can conceive how it can be done if I forget myself and get excited you must put your arms around my neck and kiss me and tell me that you are my little wife and that you are doing the best you can and I donot think I can resist that and you must think for me where I cannnot think for myself and believe that I ever love you and desire to be with you.
from your affectionate husband
J.D. Bishop
